Sperm Crisis in Utah!
You know I just saw Ben on the cover of some lame-ass “People”esque magazine about how brave he was and how bold he was and how many drinks he could consume in an hour…. blah blah blah blah ass blah blah blah blah Betty Ford blah blah.
Ben Afleck can whack me, OK? Why am I not on the cover of “People” huh? Oh poor Ben – he’s drinks, better call him an overpriced Doctor right away.
Where am I going with this? Well Ben get on the cover of People for being a womanizing, gambling, drunk… who gets help! What do I get? I get blood in my semen! That’s right… blood in my fucking semen.
I discovered this blood on the same day that Ben Afleck’s story broke and it is a sad state of affairs in America, when Ben Afleck can make the cover of people in 4 days flat but I cant seem to get an appointment with a Urologist before the next leap year.
Arg.
I have blood in my dibbly parts – that cant be good. And just so you know what is in store for someone with blood in their semen… go here: http://my.webmd.com/content/asset/adam_symptoms_semen-bloody
Now I don’t have any other symptoms listed on that page, just the pink stuff that used to be white… actually it’s still white – it was just pink and weird a couple of times there… you know, really it’s a damn miracle I even noticed it cause well… it’s not usually… you see my Wang… never mind you’ll figure it out 
And now we return you to your regularly scheduled programing…
